So Hello From The Other Side
by harrythe
Summary: She wonders if it will ever stop hurting. If the ache in her chest will ever disappear, or if it's permanently tattooed on her heart. (Also posted on AO3)
1. So Hello From The Other Side

She thinks about running a lot. Whether that's running towards or away from something, she's never really sure. All she knows is that it's there, like an itch under her skin, something that she can't scratch, buried deep in the depths of her soul.

It's been there since New Years, when she was standing on that rooftop, her feelings broadcast to what felt like the entire world. And it's not that she's mad at Farkle, because she knows that he was doing it with her best interests at heart, but it's tough to face the feelings she's tried so hard to run away from. Feelings that she put aside for her best friend, because Maya deserves the world, even at the cost of her happiness.

And she remembers sitting with them on the rooftop, no one saying a word, because really, what can anybody say? Somebody was always going to get hurt. She just wishes she could have protected Maya and Lucas for just a little bit longer, just enough that her feelings would be a moot point, because she wouldn't love Lucas any longer. Or long enough to escape what she's been running from all along.

Sometimes she also thinks about being a bird, and flying away.

She doesn't know where she'd go, but maybe it's not the ending destination that she has in mind, but just the feeling of floating away, of leaving everything behind, cutting ties, and starting over.

Maybe she could go live with her grandparents, start over in the place that was so magical for her parents. The place where it feels like everything would be okay, because how could it not be? It brought together two of the most important people in her life. And if her parents could find each other there, and conquer the world, then maybe she has a chance.

Sometimes she wishes she wasn't the daughter of Cory and Topanga, wishes she wasn't the daughter of people who have given her unrealistic expectations of love, and a person who is supposed to be there with you through all of it. Because how can you not believe in that kind of love when you're the daughter of Cory and Topanga?

She can't blame them though, because without them, she probably wouldn't believe in love in the first place. And she wouldn't give up her feelings for Lucas for the world, because in the end, he's the best and worst thing to ever happen to her. He's her reason to wake up, her reason to try to be a better person, and the reason she so desperately tried to recreate it with Charlie.

In the end, her parents made her believe in love, but Lucas showed her how.

She remembers a saying of letting someone go, if you love them. She supposes she understands it now. She's letting Lucas go, because he needs to be happy, and if that's with Maya, then she owes him that. But she can't help but hope that he comes back, hope that they get their second chance, and a someday that they were always supposed to have when the time was right. And she wishes that she hadn't given it all up for her best friend, even though Maya deserves to be just as happy, and if her happiness is with Lucas, then how could she deny her that? She just wishes that she had cherished her time with him a little more, before she'd known it was all going to disappear right in front of her.

And it hurts. It hurts worse than anything she's ever felt before, a pain so raw, and intense that it feels like she's drowning in the middle of an ocean. And no one is around to help her.

She wishes she could talk to Maya about this.

But Maya hasn't spoken to her since New Years, and she doesn't know if it's because Maya's mad that she has feelings for Lucas, or that she's mad because she kept it from her, or anything at all. And she wants to rage and scream at Maya, tell her that she gave it all up because she wanted Maya to be happy. And the tiny, selfish part of her says that Maya shouldn't get to be mad because she gave Lucas up so she could be happy, and it's not fair that she always feels like she's sacrificing everything, all the time. And part of her wishes she had been more selfish with Lucas, because Maya had her feelings for Josh, and Lucas was _hers_ , not Maya's. But she clamps those feelings down, because through it all, Maya is still her best friend, and she deserves to be happy, even if that's with the guy that she still loves. She just wishes she didn't have to be here to see it.

She tries to talk to Farkle about it, and it helps, but Farkle doesn't understand. Doesn't feel the desperate urge that she has to run, to fly, to start over and escape the pain that she's going through. Because Farkle has never been through this. Never had his heart so broken and fractured that she's afraid it will never heal.

And she misses the summer, when everything seemed so simple, and it was just her, and a country cowboy. A summer of first dates, and a first kiss that she will treasure forever on the subway.

She ends up taking the subway to places that she can't remember, and it seems so long ago that she met Lucas, and she wishes she could turn back time. Wishes she could have missed the subway that day, and maybe things would have turned out differently.

It never really matters either way, because as far as she's aware, either way she doesn't end up with Lucas, and that probably hurts worst of all.

She wonders if it will ever stop hurting. If the ache in her chest will ever disappear, or if it's permanently tattooed on her heart.

School resumes eventually, and as she takes her seat in her father's classroom, Farkle behind her, Maya next to her, and Lucas behind Maya, it feels overwhelmingly familiar, and overwhelmingly sad. Because Maya's not looking at her, and Lucas doesn't say a word, and she knew this was going to happen if her secret got out.

She goes home that afternoon, throws herself down onto her bed, and sobs. And her parents come in, and they pat her hair, and when she brokenly whispers that she wants to leave, to escape from this crushing weight on her chest, and people that she can't be around anymore, her mom gathers her in her arms, and her father promises that he'll call her grandparents.

Her grandparents agree to take her in without any hesitation, and she's all packed within a few hours. She texts Maya, and then Lucas, telling them that she's leaving, and that she's sorry, and that she wishes them both the best. She hopes they can find happiness, either together or apart, even if she can't be around them anymore to find out. She saves Farkle for last, and she tells him that she loves him like her own brother, and that she's glad he was there for her, when no one else could be. And then she shuts her phone off before he can reply, and try to change her mind.

Auggie doesn't understand, and how could he? He's still so young, and he cries, telling her he'll miss her, and that he loves her, and she promises that she loves him too, and that this won't change the fact that he's her brother. She promises to call him every night before bed, and tell him the stories of mermaids, and pirates, and anything he takes his fancy in.

It doesn't surprise her that Farkle is the only one to show up to say goodbye. He doesn't say anything about stopping her, or that she's making a mistake, though she's sure he's thinking it. He just holds her, and promises to keep in touch, and tells her that he understands why she's leaving. She jokes about him coming with her, and he smiles, and tells her not to tempt him. She pulls him into another hug, and makes him promise to hold onto what he has with Smackle, even when things get tough.

And then she leaves the city she grew up in, feeling like a bird stretching her wings.

Her grandparents welcome her with hugs and kisses, and her Uncle Josh carries her bags to her Aunt Morgan's old room. And then he gives her a hug, and says that he's glad she's here, and she cries in his arms, and tells him everything, and she watches the look on his face when she tells him about Maya and Lucas.

She wishes she could know what her uncle was feeling, before he schools his face to be unreadable.

She settles into her aunt's room, and into her new school, and her new life, and it feels good. She sits in classrooms her father used to sit in, probably in the seat her mother sat in, and makes friends with the girl sitting next to her. She talks to her parents every night on the phone, and tucks her brother in with a story, and texts Farkle about the place their parents grew up.

She never hears from Maya and Lucas, and it hurts, because she didn't want to lose either one of them, and in the end she lost both of them.

She also misses New York like a physical ache, misses it so much that she can't breathe sometimes because she wants to go back. Wants to fix everything that is broken, even if it won't fix her heart, because she misses her friends, she misses her life, and she misses the way things used to be.

And she goes to bed crying most nights, because it's the only thing she can do. And she knows her grandparents know, but she can't explain it to them. She can barely explain it to herself. But she continues through the motions, and she feels empty inside, because how could she not be, without her best friend by her side?

But life goes on, and one day she wakes up, and it doesn't hurt as much anymore. She goes to school, and greets her friends, and they're not Maya, or Farkle, or Lucas, but it's okay. And she still texts Farkle, and calls her family, and they visit, and tell her they miss her, and wish she would come home.

And it shouldn't surprise her when Maya shows up at her grandparents door.

They sit awkwardly for awhile, before Maya tells her that she misses her. That she doesn't know how to deal with everything without her. That nothing is the same. That she and Lucas have fallen apart because she blames herself for Riley leaving, and Lucas probably also blames himself, and Farkle doesn't really talk to either of them, because he doesn't know how. She was always the glue that held them together.

And she apologizes for shutting her out, because she didn't know what else to do.

And it's not enough, but it's a start, because they're talking again, and she's missed Maya so much, and it feels like the edges of her frayed heart are knitting themselves back together. They sit in her aunt's room, curled up together, and it feels almost normal. And when Maya leaves to go back home, she promises to call her, and promises to visit, because Maya understands that she can't go home yet.

And things get a little better, because she and Maya are talking again, and she and Farkle haven't stopped talking, and their relationship is mending too. She goes home for lots of visits, and she never sees Lucas, but that's okay. She's learning to be okay without him, and it's for the best.

It's Christmastime when she finally comes home for good, and Maya and Farkle are waiting for her, and she hugs them both, and it's the most normal she's felt in a long time.

She also can't help but glance around for the one face that isn't there.

Neither Maya, nor Farkle mention him, and she's grateful, because she doesn't think she's ready for that conversation. She sits in her bay window, and it feels like coming home. And with Maya and Farkle by her side, it feels almost complete, almost like nothing ever happened. And she ignores the way her heart still feels a bit empty, because she has her two best friends by her side, and that's all she should need.

Christmas Day dawns bright and clear, and she wakes up in her own bed, and it should feel strange because she hasn't stayed in her bed for a long time, but instead it feels so normal. So _right_. She almost can't believe that she had the strength to leave.

And her grandparents come, and her uncle Josh, and her uncle Shawn, and Maya, and her mother, and even Farkle stops by for a bit, and she's surrounded by the people that she loves the most, and she wants to cry. She finally feels home, and almost complete, and she wants to bask in this glow forever. She even thinks of Lucas, and her heart doesn't ache as much as it used to. She misses him though, but then again, maybe she'll always miss him. She does wish she could hear his voice again though. And maybe she should wait until she seems at school, when it starts back up, but she feels that maybe she's ready. Ready to see him again. Ready to try and mend what she broke by lying to him, and probably broke even further when she left.

And it's later that night, that she sneaks up to the rooftop, and everything is just the way it was almost a year ago. Though that probably isn't surprising, since she's probably the first person up here since that night. She pulls out her phone, and quickly unlocks it, and pulls up Lucas's contact info. She hesitantly puts it up to her ear, and impatiently waits for it to ring. And when he picks up, she gathers all her courage, and takes a deep breath.

"Hey, it's me."


	2. Girl Meets Philly

A/N: So, the lovely ereader12 thought it would be a fab idea to see more of Riley's time in Philly, and I agreed, and thought, you know, Feeny still lives next door. Wouldn't it be a great idea to do a part where Feeny gives Riley advice, like he used to do for Cory? So this happened, along with some Josh, because my best friend Ronie, . beautifulsoulheart (shameless plug, go check her out, she's amazing, and wonderful) wanted more Josh. And I maybe, sort of, delved more into Riley's anger that I touched on in the first part. Because I can. And because it should be addressed. This is my fic, and I'm tired of the writers acting like Riley is magically okay with everything. As for writing a part after the phone call with Riley, I don't know. I don't know where I'd go with it, if that makes sense? This fic was about Riley's journey, it was always supposed to end with the phone call because it signified her coming home, and ending her journey, or whatever. However, I will say that I've been thinking about doing a companion chapter to the first one, from Maya's point of view, if that would be something you guys would like to see? Or if you have any other ideas, like ideas for a part after the phone call, or maybe something else you'd like to see me expand more on, or ideas of headcannons for this universe, you'd like to see? You can send them to me on here, or via my tumblr, which is always linked in my bio. Feel free to come talk to me about whatever. I don't mind.

* * *

"I have not seen anyone sitting out here in a long time," a voice said, interrupting Riley's thoughts.

Her head snapped around to look, and there's Mr. Feeny, standing at the fence, a smile on his face.

"I didn't think anybody would be out here at this hour," she said, standing up to walk over to him.

"I have found that it's much better to garden at night, less chance of a distraction," he mused, a twinkle in his eye.

"Need a hand?"

"After what you did to my garden last time you were here, I think not." Mr. Feeny chuckled.

Riley blushed. "Sorry about that."

"It is over and done with, I suppose. Now, what brings you out here at night?"

"Just missing home, I guess," Riley said, looking up at the sky again. "The stars look so much clearer here."

"Yes, I suppose they are." Mr. Feeny grabbed his watering can, and began to water his plants. "Your father used to sit out here some nights looking at them too. He seemed to think it was rather helpful."

Riley smiled. "My father said you were good at helping people out with their problems."

"And do you have a problem, Ms. Matthews?"

Riley hesitated for a moment, before she decided to blurt it out. "Did my parents ever date other people?"

Mr. Feeny sighed, put down his watering can, and opened the gate, beckoning Riley through it, and directing her to sit on the bench next to his house. "May I ask what brought this conversation up?"

Riley sighed. "My friend Maya, who was here with me last time, has a crush on the guy I love, and I tried to be okay with it, even going so far as to push them together, and I tried to be okay with it, but I wasn't. I really thought Lucas would be my person, that we'd be like my parents."

Mr. Feeny smiled at her sadly. "There were a few other people, though no one was ever truly enough to keep them apart."

"And did my dad and Uncle Shawn ever fight?"

Mr. Feeny chuckled. "They fought a fair few times, but it seems to me that even they managed to sort their problems out."

Riley pondered this for a bit, before she stood up. "Thank you, Mr. Feeny. Do you think everything will turn out alright?"

Mr. Feeny smiled. "It has been my experience that nothing can ever truly stand in the way of friendship, Ms. Matthews."

Riley smiled back at him. "Thank you, Mr. Feeny. I'll leave you to your gardening, I guess."

"You are very welcome Ms. Matthews," he said, standing up, and walking her to the gate.

"Have a good night, Mr. Feeny," she said, as she walked back into her grandparents house.

"You as well," he said, before he picked up his watering can and started watering again.

* * *

"Do you think I was wrong for leaving," Riley asked her uncle a few days after her talk with Mr. Feeny.

Josh sighed, and sat down next to his niece on the couch. "Do you feel bad for leaving?"

"I don't know. Should I feel bad?"

"Riley, I think you should feel whatever it is you feel, without anyone telling you that you're feelings are right or wrong. I know I'm not the greatest uncle-"

"You're the best uncle," Riley interrupted him.

Josh rolled his eyes. "I don't have as much experience as your dad, or Shawn, or even Eric, but I do know this. You're never going to get over what happened, until you feel whatever it is you've been repressing."

Riley froze. "How do you know I'm repressing something?"

Josh snorted. "You're my niece Riley, I know you."

Riley fidgeted for a minute, and ran her fingers through her hair, and took a deep breath. "I don't know how I feel," she murmured.

"You don't know, or you don't want to know because someone's been telling you what you feel?"

Riley bit her bottom lip, then let out a sigh. "I was angry," she finally whispered.

"Angry at yourself. or someone else?"

"Both, I guess. I was angry at myself, for not noticing how Maya felt, and angry at her, for even having those feelings in the first place. I mean, she had you. She was in love with you. And then all of a sudden she had feelings for Lucas? Feelings for the guy that she knew I liked, even if she thought it was like a brother? And then she almost kissed him, and told me, and didn't even think about how it was going to affect me. It was like she didn't even care. And then I was mad at myself again, because I had no right to be angry, because she wasn't going to tell me that she liked him, and I practically pushed them together."

Josh wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "It's okay to be angry Riley. No one is telling you you can't be angry. You had just found out that your best friend liked the guy you liked. Any person in their right mind would probably feel a little angry about that. Anger is human, Riley, it's okay to be human."

"She didn't even question it, you know. When I told her that I loved him like a brother, she didn't even question it. And then I guess I felt a little glad, when Farkle told everyone that I was lying, and that I still loved Lucas. And I felt selfish, because now Maya knew the truth, and she could feel what I felt. Was it wrong to feel that way?"

"Were you glad that someone was going to get hurt, or glad that you didn't have to lie anymore?"

"I was glad that I didn't have to lie anymore."

"That doesn't make you a bad person Riley, and anybody that tries to tell you different is wrong. What you're feeling is human."

"I wish I had been more selfish with him," Riley whispered. "I wish I had held on just that little bit longer."

"Maybe it's not over yet," Josh soothed. "Maybe there's still time."

"And if there isn't?"

"Then there's going to be a guy in your future who loves you too much to let you go without a fight, and Lucas was just the stepping stone to help you get there."

Riley's shoulders shook a little, before she started letting out a quiet sob. Josh gathered her into his arms, and Riley finally let herself go, and it felt like she couldn't stop crying, letting out gut-wrenching sobs that wracked her body. Josh moved a hand to her hair, combing through it, murmuring soothing words.

When she had eventually cried herself out, she dried her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Do you feel better now?"

Riley nodded. "Thank you, Uncle Josh."

Josh smiled. "It's no problem. Just remember I'm always here for you."

Riley nodded again, and stood up. "I should head to bed."

"Goodnight, Riley."

"Goodnight Uncle Josh."

* * *

"Thank you, Mr. Feeny," Riley said, as she stepped out the back door shortly after Maya's visit, to catch the older gentleman watering his garden.

"To what are you thanking me for Ms. Matthews?"

"Maya and I are talking again. I think we might be able to repair our friendship."

"I am glad to hear it."

Riley smiled at him, before she held out the packet of seeds in her hand. "It isn't much, but I wanted to repay you for the ones I took."

Mr. Feeny smiled, and took the seeds. "These will look lovely Ms. Matthews. Thank you."

"Do you have any other advice for me?"

"Only that you follow your heart. You can change the world, Ms. Matthews, make it your own."

Riley nodded, before her grandmother called her from the house. "Thank you, again, Mr. Feeny."

"You are most welcome Ms. Matthews."

Riley walked back into her grandparents house, with a little more bounce in her step.

And if you asked George Feeny, Cory and Topanga's daughter would do just fine. Just fine indeed.


	3. Like A Skipping Stone

A/N: So, I finally got around to writing the chapter about Maya. Sorry it's taken me over two months to update. Life got in the way. And then a bout of writer's block. But I got it done, thanks to "Skipping Stones" by Claire Guerreso. Seriously, that song is amazing. Also, I have more chapters already in the works, so hopefully it won't take me too long to update next time. Oh, and thank you to everyone who has been leaving amazing reviews. If I haven't replied to yours, I apologize, because I might have missed it, or you're on guest mode, and I can't. Just know I appreciate it, and if you'd like to talk about anything, just shoot me a message, I don't mind.

* * *

She wishes she could feel angry. She wishes she could feel hurt. And she wishes she would have seen this coming. And it's as the snow is falling, and she's sitting up on

the rooftop of Riley's building, that she wishes that she hadn't been taught how to hope.

She doesn't know how long they sit there, until the silence gets to be too much, so she stands up and leaves. She walks home along the quiet New York streets, leaving footprints in the snow, and she feels sort of numb. And she wishes she could forget, forget the look on Lucas's face, when he realized Riley still loved him, forget the way that Riley froze when Farkle spilled her secret. Forget the way that Lucas made her feel.

She wishes she could forget the way that Riley still loved him.

She comes home to her mother already in bed, and part of her wants to crawl in beside her, like she used to when she was little. Instead, she sits in her bedroom window, and cries. She cries for what could have been, and what is, and what will happen when she goes back to school.

She wishes Texas had never happened.

And she wants to be selfish, because Riley gave him up. Riley looked her in the eyes and told her she loved him like a brother. Riley lied to her. And she wants to be so angry at Riley, and maybe part of her is, but she knows why. Riley has always looked out for her, Riley has always sacrificed everything to make sure that she was okay.

Maybe now it's time for Maya to do the same, because she knows. She knows that Lucas still feels something, knew it tonight when he got so jealous of Charlie. Knew it when Riley and Charlie went on their first date, and Lucas kept trying to butt in. She's not as dumb as people think she is. She's always known. She just hoped that he'd choose her in the end.

Hope is for suckers.

And she wants to talk to Riley about this, wants to know why, but she can't bring herself to call her. Can't bring herself to admit the truth, or face reality. Farkle tries to text her, to apologize, and she doesn't want to shut him out, but the memory of that night is still on her mind. She doesn't blame him, because he was doing what was best for Riley, and she would have done the same thing, but it still hurts. It hurts that Farkle knew Riley better than she did. And she wonders how she didn't see. Was she really so caught up in finally having Lucas that she ignored her best friend?

School rolls back around, and she doesn't even want to get out of bed. She doesn't want to face everything that she's been running from since New Year's Eve. But her mother forces her out of bed, and she hops on the subway, and makes it to school just in time for the first bell. And then she stands in front of Mr. Matthew's class, and it's like her feet can't move. She can see Riley's curls, and Farkle's arm just behind her, and she know's she should go in, but it's like she's frozen. She's not sure she can do this. She doesn't want to do this. She doesn't want to face reality yet.

She forces her feet to move, and she can feel everyone's eyes on her as she sits down at her desk, and she want's to say something. Wants to yell and scream, and make them stop, tell them to mind their own business. She can feel Riley looking at her, but she can't bear to turn and face her. Can't deal with the hurt, and the crushed dream.

She doesn't know how to make things right.

She stiffens when Lucas walks into the room, but he doesn't look at anyone. And Mr. Matthews tries so hard to pretend that everything is normal, even though it's not. And she knows the whole class is waiting with baited breath, waiting for something, anything, but Maya just puts her head down, and wishes class would get over soon.

Whispers follow her throughout the rest of the day. She tries to ignore them, because they know nothing, but it's hard. There's rumors that she's selfish, a terrible friend, and it would be funny, except that's what she thinks of herself. She wishes she had figured it out sooner, wishes it hadn't been practically thrown in her face.

She goes home that night and wishes she could leave. Wishes she could escape the city that suddenly feels too small for her.

Riley apparently beats her to that idea.

Instead, she goes and crawls into bed with her mother, and cries for the first time in a long time. Her mother doesn't say much, just wraps her up into her arms, and promises that everything will work out. That despite how she feels, she isn't alone. That she's loved. That someone cares. In that moment, Maya has never felt closer to her mother, and she holds it close, cherishing it, wishing it would last just a little bit longer.

She goes back to school the next morning and it feels empty. Farkle stares at her as soon as she walks into the classroom, and he doesn't look angry or disappointed, just defeated. Lucas comes in, and freezes when he spots Riley's empty seat, like he didn't think it was real. And Maya wants to yell and rage and scream, at Lucas, at Farkle, at anyone because she lost her best friend.

She wishes she could yell at herself.

Mr. Matthews comes in, and he sighs when he see's his daughter's empty desk. He looks tired, like the entire world is resting on his shoulders. He moves lethargically around the class, constantly glancing at Riley's desk, like it holds all the answers. Maybe it does. She shrinks down into her seat, and wishes the day would end sooner.

She withdraws even more into herself, and their friendship group falls apart eventually.

Farkle tries, bless him. He's not the fixer though, can't seem to fit himself into Riley's shoes. He apologizes, over and over again, as though it's his fault Riley left. As if he was the one who pushed her away, and ignored her, when she needed him the most. As if he's the one who let her go without a fight. And maybe she should have fought harder for her best friend, shouldn't have ignored her, and pushed her away. And maybe if she wasn't so focused on keeping Lucas, she would have realized that Riley was fading away. Realized that her best friend was hurting far more than she would have thought possible.

She wishes she could get a do-over.

And she knows that Riley wanted her to try with Lucas, and maybe that makes it worse. Because Riley sacrificed so much for her, and she never thanked her. She just went after Lucas without a second thought. And she cringes when she thinks of when she told Riley about the almost kiss. And she wants to punch something, anything, when she thinks of Riley telling her parents that she just wanted Maya to be happy. That should have been her first clue.

She needs to find Riley, apologize, and beg her to come back.

Because even if she and Lucas aren't a thing anymore, and really, there's no knowing since he won't talk to her, she misses their friendship. Misses the way things used to be. Wishes they could go back. And she wishes she hadn't gone months without contacting her best friend.

She finds herself at the Matthews' door before she even really realizes that she'd put on her coat.

They welcome her in with open arms, and it's more than she could have hoped for, given that she was part of the reason their daughter left.

Though Auggie does seem to glare at her a lot.

She doesn't blame him.

She begins with an apology, for driving their daughter away, for the way that she hasn't visited, for how much hurt she's caused. And then she asks if there's any way she can speak to Riley. To apologize for the terrible friend she was.

Mr. Matthews promises to drive her there the next morning.

When they arrive in Philly, she stops for a moment to stare at the house that Mr. Matthews grew up in. She can understand why Riley came here. It's peaceful, in a way that New York never is. She can see Mr. Feeny next door, out in his garden, and she would wave, but she's technically on a mission. She walks up to the front door, and suddenly her hand feels twenty pounds heavier. She turns to look back at Mr. Matthews, who makes a little knocking motion with his hand, and she turns back around, breathes in deep, and knocks.

She's not prepared for Riley to open the door.

She wants to cry as soon as she sees her.

Riley looks so much happier, and lighter than the last time she saw her. Her eyes don't look so sad anymore, like she isn't holding the weight of the world on her shoulders anymore. She follows her to the room where Riley is staying, and they sit in the window, and it feels strange, because it isn't their window, but it's the best they have. And maybe it's best that it isn't their window, because it isn't tainted by the memories.

Riley opens her mouth to say something, but an apology spills from Maya's mouth before she can utter a word. She apologizes for all the hurt she caused, for ignoring her when she should have been reaching out. For the anger she felt at Riley not telling her the truth. For the anger she felt at herself for not noticing how Riley was struggling. That she and Lucas have fallen apart, and by extension the whole group. That she can't deal with everything happening without her best friend by her side. But most of all, she apologizes for shutting her out when Riley needed her the most.

Riley doesn't say a word until she finishes, and she apologizes too, and they sit together, and cry, and make promises to be better friends.

And Riley just smiles sadly at her, when Maya asks her to come home.

Maya understands though, wishing she could do the same thing.

But it's as she slips into the car to go home that she feels lighter than she has in awhile. And she smiles because she has her best friend back. And she glances back up at the house, at where Riley is standing on the porch waving goodbye. And it feels like a new chapter in her life.

And she feels ready to face the world.

* * *

A/N: So. There's Maya's POV. Hopefully I did her justice, and you guys like it. Sidenote, I was going to put Josh into this part, because I'm a sucker for Joshaya, but I couldn't find a good way to work him in. He may make an appearance in other parts though. Who knows?


	4. Focal Point (Hello Part 2)

A/N: I'd just like to thank the amazing and talented sand1128 for all the help on this part, and being a sounding board for the dialogue in this part, because of all the great ideas, and also basically holding my hand while I stressed over this, and how it would go. This chapter could not have been written without all the help! So this part is dedicated to sand1128. Thanks for being awesome, and can't wait to read more of your stuff, so if you haven't check it out. "Shattered Princess" is amazing, and well worth the read. I'd also like to thank Amber Run for their amazing song "I Found" because I listened to that song on repeat constantly while writing this part. And if you haven't seen the Rucas video that someone made to that song, look it up. It's called "Riley & Lucas | I Found (2x20-2x22)" It's beautiful, and amazing, and I've watched it like a bajillion times. I've been on a bit of a Rucas kick lately, where I've watched so many amazing Rucas videos, and stayed up for hours crying and procrastinating on midterms. Oops? OH, and before I forget, I SAW THE NEW PROMO FOR LEGACY, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME LUCAS SAID SOMETHING. (Let's just hope he makes the right choice.)

* * *

" _Hey, it's me."_

* * *

She spends New Year's Eve on the rooftop, looking out at the skyline of her beloved city. It feels cathartic, in a way, to be up here, alone, again. She thinks of a year ago, of the shock, and the distress, and her heart aches at the thought. She thinks of Charlie, and their break-up and sitting alone, and Maya not even caring enough to ask if she was alright. She thinks of Maya, walking up to Lucas, and them standing together, and for once, not feeling angry or hurt.

It feels like a fresh start.

Maya joins her on the rooftop around ten, and then Farkle around eleven, and they ring in the new year together, standing next to each other. Perhaps it was always meant to be just the three of them, sitting together on the bench, cuddled up against the cold. And the thought should scare her, because no matter what, she never wants to lose Lucas, but then, if she never has him, she supposes she'll be alright.

So something new begins.

She finally gets rid of Lucas's shoes in the bucket by her bed, and the notebook with his name on both sides gets tucked away. She tosses the dress she wore on their first date into the back of her closet, and the princess cap her mother lent her goes back into a box. She puts the train ticket for Texas in a drawer, and slides it closed.

When she's done, she feels cleansed, feels almost whole. And she wonders why she didn't have the strength to do this before.

* * *

" _I'm sorry for leaving."_

" _I'm sorry you felt like you had to leave."_

* * *

She goes back to school on a Monday morning. It's different now, a different building, different people, a different life. But she goes to her classes, and sits in her seat, and soon, it's like she's been here forever, her old classmates welcoming her back into the fold.

She tries not to listen to the whispers that follow, whispers of what she did, what she ran from. Rumors from people that barely know her, and don't have a say in her life. Rumors from people that she used to call her friends. People that have no idea how broken she was on the inside, and how she stitched herself back together. She almost dares that they walk a mile in her shoes.

She has a few classes with Maya, and a few with Farkle, and one with Lucas. Thankfully, Farkle is in the class she has with Lucas, and she can almost feel him tense beside her when Lucas walks into the room. She offers Lucas a smile, and she can feel Farkle relax when Lucas smiles back. She wishes she could block out the whispers that start up as soon as Lucas sits down. Instead, she ignores them, but knowing she'll have to face them later. Farkle keeps her distracted during the class, writing sarcastic comments on a spare piece of paper, that has her struggling to hold in her laughter.

Lunchtime offers a brief respite, as she sits squeezed between Maya and Farkle. They glare at anyone who tries to approach the table, and Riley is grateful that she doesn't have to listen to the rumors that are still flying around. She can even feel when Lucas walks in, Farkle and Maya tensing beside her. She smiles up at Lucas instead, and offers him to sit with them. He declines, looking vaguely uncomfortable, and instead offers for the four of them to hang out sometime, somewhere else.

She agrees without a moment's hesitation. She needs this. Needs to have the four of them be friends again. They set a time and a place, before Lucas goes to sit with Zay.

* * *

" _I never meant to hurt you."_

" _I know. And I think that's what makes it worse."_

* * *

The first time they try to hang out as a group of four friends goes disastrously. Maya and Lucas can barely even look at each other, Farkle looks like he's about five seconds from leaving, and Riley? Riley just wants everything to go back to normal, so she starts talking about her math class. Everyone sort of stares at her, until Maya tentatively makes a comment about the homework, and that's all that's needed for the proverbial floodgates to open.

Riley catches Lucas staring at her, more than a few times, but she immediately looks away, trying not to get swept up in the moment.

She goes home that night, heart happy, and feet light.

It's not perfect, probably won't be perfect for a while, but it's a start. A start to the healing process, that she was afraid she wouldn't get, that it would always just be her, and Farkle, and Maya.

Zay eventually joins them, and it feels like before. And it seems strange, that her life would be split into _before_ and _after_ , before Texas, and after. Texas almost feels like it exists outside of time, like this strange nightmare that she finally woke up from.

Except it really happened, and she just can't seem to forget.

And she's not sure she really wants to.

Because she's not sure how long they could have gone on, in the feelings of before. Maybe it would have caused more damage in the long run.

She'd take the heartbreak she experienced now, over anything else that could have happened.

* * *

" _I did what I thought was expected of me."_

" _Who expected you to do that?"_

* * *

Maya comes to her eventually, and they finally talk about what happened. About all the hurt and anger they felt, that they didn't talk about when she was in Philly. All the things they've never been able to say. They sit in the bay window for hours, and it feels cathartic, and like she's coming home.

She prods Maya into hanging out with Lucas some more, and soon, they're on their way back to being friends. It will probably never be the same between them, but they're working on it.

The first time she calls him "Ranger Rick", Riley smiles like she's won a small victory, and maybe she has. Maya still watches him sadly sometimes, and when Riley asks about it, she just smiles, and tells her that it's more wishful thinking than anything.

That she realizes now that she and Lucas were never meant to be more than friends.

Riley wants to ask what she thinks about her and Lucas, but somehow, she can never quite get the words out.

Maya seems to know anyways, and tells her that Lucas still loves her. And Riley so desperately wants to believe that, down in the depths of her soul, and yet, she knows it's probably not likely. Middle school romances don't usually last forever. Besides, it's not like she and Lucas are her parents. She remembers what her Uncle Shawn said, that there's only one Cory and Topanga. So maybe she and Lucas aren't meant to have a happy ending as anything more than friends. The thought stings, but she supposes it's for the best.

She asks Maya about her happy ending, and Maya just shrugs her shoulders. Riley casually mentions that Josh is in town now, and she watches as Maya tries so hard to appear uninterested. But she catches the flicker of hope in Maya's eyes, and it's enough.

Maybe Maya can get her happy ending, even if Riley can't.

* * *

" _I couldn't let Maya be unhappy, not when she stepped back for me. And I thought you felt something too, especially when you called her the blonde beauty."_

" _And I called you the pretty brunette. Riley, I came up with those names to describe you to Zay. Not because I liked Maya more than you."_

* * *

She still takes the subway a lot. She sits in the same seat every time, and people come and people go, but no one stays. She thinks about what would have happened, if she hadn't landed on Lucas's lap on the subway. If they'd sat in another car, or he'd taken a later train.

Maybe they were always meant to end up like this.

Forever caught in the awkward space of what could have been, had she stayed and fought, and what will never be, because she gave it all up and ran away.

She eventually stops taking the subway, except for school with Maya, unable to stand it more than she has too, as consumed as she is in the would haves, could haves, and should haves. And maybe it's for the best, that she puts it behind her. A step in the healing process.

She's learning to live in reality, rather than Rileytown.

And maybe this is all part of growing up, like the changing of the bay window.

She says as much, to Maya, and she just smiles, and gives her a hug, and makes her promise that no matter how much everything changes, that she never stops being herself. And she promises, tucking Rileytown into the corner of her mind, where her childhood rests.

She still visits sometimes, when she's feeling low, and like the weight of the world is on her shoulders.

Younger Riley greets her with a smile, and a quick tug on her hand.

* * *

" _For two people who love to talk to each other, we're terrible when it matters most."_

" _Maybe we could start over. Hi, I'm Lucas."_

* * *

The first time Riley and Lucas really talk after everything happens, is in the library. It should be poetic, in a way that they have no right to be, though Riley supposes that it's better than nothing. Riley glances around at all the dusty old books, thinks of all the stories resting in their pages, and turns to face Lucas, and wonders how their story is going to end.

She thinks of a long forgotten horse ride, a princess crown, and a gentle smile.

Of happily ever after and true love's kiss.

It's not enough, will probably never be enough, but she pushes those thoughts to the back of her mind. She can't afford to screw this up, and lose him again. She won't lose him again. And if that means that they're never going to be together, than she thinks she could handle that. She'd rather always have Lucas in her life as her best friend, than lose him. She knows that now.

She wonders if he thinks of how things used to be.

If he still dreams of a happily ever after for the two of them.

And she pushes those thoughts to the back of her mind, because it doesn't matter. Not anymore. She refuses to be stuck in the constant loop of will they, won't they. It won't do anything other than give her a broken heart, and she refuses to be broken up over Lucas.

She needs to move on, and so does he.

She won't lose him, not again.

She can't.

* * *

" _I love it."_

" _And I love you."_

* * *

It's still there, buried beneath her skin, this desperate urge to tell Lucas how she feels. Because she still loves him, will probably always love him. She thinks about it a lot, when she's sitting near him in a classroom, or next to him at lunch, barely a breath away.

But it won't do any good now, not when they're finally getting back to the way things used to be. She won't disrupt the fragile peace they've managed to build, the tentative camaraderie. It's merely an echo of what it was before, but at this point she'll take what she can get.

She's learned it's better to have Lucas as a friend, than nothing at all.

And maybe it's unhealthy, this almost obsessive need to have Lucas around, rather than let him go, and move on, but she can't find it in her to care. She's not willing to give up, not this time around.

She's learning to fight for what she wants, even if it's a mere shadow of what she could have had. It's a start. A step in the right direction.

And it's as she's sitting in the classrooms, or at the lunch tables, that her hope is the strongest, because sometimes she'll catch him looking at her, eyes filled with something that she can't figure out.

It's not the way he looked at her before, but rather something else. Maybe something more.

But then he breaks away, and the moment is gone, and she wonders if maybe she's imagining it all. It wouldn't be the first time, and it probably won't be the last, at least not where Lucas is concerned.

She read somewhere that you never forget your first love, and she thinks she's beginning to understand what that meant.

Lucas was her first love, and though she'd wish, more than anything, for him to be her last, maybe it's not meant to be.

Some love stories aren't meant to have a happy ending, and maybe there's is one of them.

* * *

" _I never wanted to lose your friendship."_

" _And I don't want to lose yours. You've changed me, and I don't want to go back to that."_

* * *

The whispers eventually die down, and everyone seems to forget. Except for Riley. She thinks about it, in the darkest parts of the night, as she sits in her bay window, and looks at the stars that now seem so far away. She thinks of Philadelphia, and the way the stars felt so close, almost like she could touch them. She thinks about the universe, and the improbability of finding the one person who's supposed to be there through all of it.

She thinks of the ancient stories of soulmates that her dad used to tell her, and the gods being so jealous they separated the soulmates, for them to never find each other. And she doesn't know if Lucas is her soulmate, after all she's still so young, but maybe he could be. She thinks of what it'd be like to be forever attached to her soulmate, and then she remembers her parents, and suddenly it's not so hard to imagine at all.

She wonders if she'll ever find the same thing. If there's someone out there in the world, who will stick with her through all of it.

And yet, she can't stop thinking of Lucas.

Maybe she shouldn't give up hope quite yet.

If Lucas is her soulmate, then maybe they'll find their way back to each other. But then, maybe there is no such thing as 'meant to be' or all that garbage that all the love songs, and tv shows, and movies try to push down her throat. Maybe there's no such thing as fate, or destiny.

And yet, she can't seem to give up hope. And she wonders if there's other universes out there, universes where there's another Riley, and another Lucas, and maybe they're happy together, somewhere out there. And she thinks she'd like to live there, where her heart is.

* * *

" _So we start over?"_

" _We start over, and this time we talk, about everything, including the things that matter most."_

* * *

Talking begins to come more easily to her and Lucas. They talk about their hopes, their dreams. Their relationship that almost was. Things they'd never talked about before, things that should have been talked about back when it all started.

They talk for hours, until their throats are sore, and she feels like she can't get another word out. And yet she keeps going, fingers curled around her phone, until she can barely keep her eyes open.

She wishes they had been this close before. But then, maybe she wouldn't have appreciated it as much as she does now. And it scares her to think that maybe this was what she needed all along. To go through the pain and the heartache, so that she could appreciate her relationship with Lucas, more than she would have if she hadn't lost him.

Maybe her heart was always supposed to break.

And that thought keeps her awake at night, when she sits in her bay window, and looks up at the stars, or what little she can see of them. And some nights she can't sit still, so she walks up to the roof, and sits on the bench, with a hot mug of tea. And she's up there so often now, that she hangs some lights, puts pillows on the bench, and it's like her own little getaway. And sometimes Maya joins her. Sometimes they talk, and sometimes they sit in silence, and Maya never prods, never pushes, never asks her to talk about how she feels. And Riley is grateful, because she's not ready.

Not yet. Maybe one day though. Soon.

* * *

" _I guess I'll see you at school on Monday?_

" _I'll be there."_

* * *

She goes back to Philly for the summer, and spends every night staring at the stars. She's missed this, more than she thought she would, when she moved back to New York. She talks to Mr. Feeny most nights, stories of her life in New York, of her parents. Her friends. How everything seems so much brighter than it did a year ago.

He just smiles and nods, watering his garden.

She understands, why her father respects him so much.

And Farkle and Maya come to visit, and she shows them all her favorite places around town, and all the friends she met. Farkle is fascinated by the town their parents grew up in, of places he's only heard stories about. He takes loads of pictures, sends some on to his father, and some to his mother, and begs them to come visit more often.

Lucas doesn't visit, and she tries not to feel hurt, but she understands. If things were the other way around, if Lucas had run away, and then came back, she wouldn't want to visit that place either.

She wishes he'd come though, so she could show him all the places where she started to heal. The diner that her parents used to go for dates, the salon that cut her mother's hair, the middle school where they fell in love. All the pieces of her history, that helped stitch her back together.

The place that's become just as important to her, as it was to her parents.

Maybe this is where love stories are born.

* * *

" _I should go, my family's waiting."_

" _Goodbye, Riley."_

* * *

She wonders what it'd be like, to go back to Texas, now that everything seems to be getting back to normal. If it would change anything, to go back.

But then she pushes the thoughts out of her head, because it doesn't matter. She needs to live in the present, in the reality that Texas happened, and what she's gone through since then. That she had her heart broken, so broken that she ran away. That she came back, and she healed. That she's stronger now than she was then.

That maybe Texas wasn't such a bad thing after all.

She says as much to Maya and Farkle, who look at her weirdly, like she's grown another head. And she supposes it does sound a little crazy, after everything she went through, after everything they went through, but then maybe it's not so crazy. Maybe it's what she needed to let everything go. Maybe it's her way of healing.

And she thinks back to Christmas, of that fateful phone call on the rooftop, when she was just beginning to get her life back on track, and she thinks of how much she's grown.

And she realizes that this is what it's like on the other side of heartbreak.

She made it.

* * *

" _Goodbye, Lucas."_

* * *

A/N: So, am I terrible because Riley and Lucas aren't together? Probably. But I've said it before and I'll say it again, this story was always supposed to be about Riley, first and foremost. She has to heal and so does her relationship with Lucas, and I want to do that in a way that is real. A way that doesn't seem like I'm putting them together, just for the sake of putting them together. What I hope you guys understand is that Riley, and Lucas to a certain extent, really messed things up between the two of them. As the ever amazing sand1128 said when giving me advice on this fic, "For two people who love to talk to each other, they never talked about the most important topic: Them." I mean, we can't forget that I had Riley literally leave the state because she couldn't handle what was going on. I don't want that to be for nothing. And I know I didn't really focus on Riley and Lucas' relationship in this part (Mostly because I wanted to focus on the friendships first, since that's the most important thing), but there's a third part coming where it's all about them, and I really mean all about them, after I write a part from Lucas' POV, and Farkle's POV. This part was more about Riley struggling with how she felt, should she move on? Or should she hold on to hope for something that may be just a dream?


	5. Hey Brother, Hey Sister

A/N: Alternatively titled: "Hey Sister (Do You Still Believe In Love, I Wonder)"

So. I was going to write a chapter on Lucas's POV. I had it all planned out, and it's still going to be written, but, I was scrolling through my music, and came across "Hey Brother" by Damien McFly (I also have the original by Avicii), which I hadn't heard in forever, and was like, you know, maybe I should write a part for Auggie. And it turned into this. So. Sorry about that. Lucas will just come later. And then Farkle. And then a third part of Hello. Where everything comes together. Hopefully.

* * *

 _Love is stupid_ , is the first thought that comes into his head when his big sister tells him she's leaving. After all, if love was smart, his sister would stay. He knows that, even though he's only six years old. People who love you stay. HIs parents stay. Ava stays. So why won't Riley? Does she not love him enough to stay?

He asks her as much, and she assures him it's not his fault. And he makes her pinky promise, not because he needs that assurance, but because a pinky promise is the strongest promise he knows. And Riley wouldn't ever break her pinky promise.

He notices that Maya and Lucas haven't been around, and he starts to put two and two together.

He may use puppy eyes on Farkle to get the rest of the information, and then he's angry. He told Lucas not to hurt his sister. And then Riley got hurt, and she fled the state, and left Auggie behind. And he's angry because he made Lucas promise. Made him promise to not hurt Riley, after he told him that Riley only needed one brother.

He was wrong about that though, her only needing one brother.

Farkle can be Riley's other brother. He understands, even at six, that there are some things Riley can't tell him, that she can talk to Farkle about. So Farkle is allowed to be her other brother.

He's also angry at Maya. Sisters are supposed to protect each other, to be there for them through the hard stuff. Like his Uncle Eric, and Uncle Josh, and his dad, and even his Aunt Morgan. Even his Uncle Shawn knows to be there through everything. So where is Maya?

Why isn't anybody trying to get Riley to stay?

Why does she have to leave?

Why won't she stay?

He wants to scream, so loud, and so long, and maybe if he does, Riley will hear him. And Riley will stay. And she won't abandon her brother.

On the day Riley is supposed to leave, Auggie follows her around like a puppy. Any other time, Riley probably would have been annoyed, but now? Now she just smiles, and stops to give him the occasional hug, like she feels guilty for leaving him behind. Auggie hopes she does, because you're big sister is supposed to be there, your whole life.

Eventually, Riley sits in her bay window, patting the seat next to her. Auggie climbs up, and Riley hugs him, telling him that she'll miss him, and promising to call every night, and she'll tell him his bedtime stories. He makes her pinky promise that too.

Auggie wants to tell her that they'd sound better if she told them at home. That he doesn't want to listen if she's not here. That big sisters are supposed to stay.

But then he pulls back and gets a good look at his sister. And he's only six, but he can see how tired she is, see the way her shoulders are hunched over, and how sad her eyes look, how sad they've looked for awhile now.

And as much as it hurts, maybe it's a good thing she's going.

And when it's time for her to go, he cries and cries and cries, and makes her promise not to forget him.

He watches Riley hold back her tears, and solemnly holds out her pinky, and swears. And she swears that she'll come back, and she'll miss him everyday. And she promises him that no matter what, she loves him.

And Auggie lets her go, hoping that the sister he left behind comes back healthier, happier, and whole.

He misses the big sister who used to play pirates with him in his bedroom. A time when his bedroom was a pirate ship, and he was the fiercest, bravest, most cunning pirate of all.

He doesn't feel very brave right now, as he waves goodbye to his sister.

He feels the tears fall down his face, and he raises his pinky finger as the car pulls away, and watches his big sister hold up hers in return.

 _I'll miss you_ , it says. _I promise to call you every night. I love you. I promise I'll come back_.

And it's difficult to adjust to not having his big sister around, but he makes do. She calls him every night, and tells him his bedtime stories. Sometimes his Uncle Josh chimes in, and sometimes his grandparents do, but Auggie likes it best when it's just Riley. Sometimes, if he closes his eyes, it almost feels like she's there with him.

And every night, she ends the call with the same thing. _I pinky promise that I miss you, and that I'll see you soon, and I'll call you tomorrow night. I love you, Auggie. You're the best brother._

And when she comes home, just before Christmas, she wraps her brother in a hug, and links their pinky fingers together. _I promised I'd come back._

* * *

A/N: I've always thought Auggie was wise for a six year old, which probably has something to do with the fact that his parents are Cory and Topanga. So hopefully I've done him justice. Also, the idea behind the pinky promise comes from my niece and nephew, who are three and five respectively, and when they visit we make a pinky promise each time they leave to go back home that goes: I promise that I will always miss you when you're gone. I promise that we'll see each other again soon. And I promise that I will love you forever and ever, no matter what. And then when they leave, they always hold up their pinky fingers through the car window so I can see it. So, I figured I'd work that in here, and tell you why, in case you were curious. Also, I'm so sorry this is so short, but honestly, I wanted this to be more of an interlude than anything.

AND I'M SO MAD AT LEGACY. I WAITED HOW MANY MONTHS FOR THAT? WHAT THE HECK?

Basically, expect the Lucas part soon, because I'm going to go write my feelings away.


	6. Maybe You Are Stronger Than I Was

A/N: Dear Girl Meets World writers, consider this my response to "Legacy", in which I attempt to correct your mistakes, while keeping it in my "Hello" universe, and give Lucas a voice, and feelings, actual feelings, rather than that crap you tried to pull with "Legacy". We all know Lucas is going to choose at some point, if there's even really a choice, because you 'claim' this isn't a triangle (insert eye roll). Also, next time you want to write a love triangle? Don't. They're cheap, tacky, and a cliche. I, for one, am over it. Also, don't bait fans with a promise to resolve things, and then end it the way you did. It's bad writing, and loses the audience's trust in you. Maybe this will give you some tips and pointers about how to actually work with feelings.

Sincerely, a disappointed viewer.

* * *

 _I'm leaving. I'm going to go live with my grandparents. I'm sorry that I couldn't stay. I love you._

He thinks about going to her, about begging her to stay. He wonders if it would do any good, if it would fix the gaping loneliness in his chest. The loneliness that threatens to engulf him, like teetering on the edge of a cliff. But then he wonders if he could say anything at all, to get her to stay.

And his heart feels so far broken that he's not sure it will ever repair.

And the next thing he knows, he's at school the next day, staring at her empty seat. And in that moment, it feels like he can't breathe. Like everything that ever made him Lucas, at least the New York Lucas, has vanished, and he can feel Texas Lucas creeping in. And he can't do anything to stop it, not when his anchor, the one person who keeps him centered, is gone. And it seems so ridiculous, that one person can keep him grounded above all else, and yet, he hasn't felt the same since their trip to Texas, when Riley rejected him. Rejected the love he was so sure they shared.

His world collapsed, and he was left to scramble for the pieces, without an anchor. Without anything to bring him back.

And he can feel as Texas Lucas keeps creeping in, feels himself getting angry, sometimes for no reason at all, and he wants to run, punch, hit, something, anything, just to let go of all the anger he feels. Anger at Riley, for leaving instead of staying, anger at himself, for not pleading with her to stay. Wants to get rid of the last time he saw Riley, looking so tired, and broken, and sad, the day before she left. It all feels like some giant nightmare that he can't wake up from. And he so desperately wants to wake up.

He doesn't understand why she couldn't stay. Riley's always supposed to be the one to stay, the one to fix things, the one to make sure they don't fall apart. Because that's what happened, after she left. They fell apart, crashed and burned. Maya's not talking to him, and Farkle doesn't seem to know what to say. Even Zay is keeping quiet about this, which is unusual. They all seem to just sit in silence, until he feels like screaming. And the days continue like this.

And he sits in his room at night, looking up at the stars, the ones that seem so far away from home. And he waits. Waits for her to come home, for her to call, for anything at all. He refuses to believe that this is the end, that there is no hope for him and Riley. That it's all disappeared through his fingers like smoke. Because if this is really the end, if the universe is really this cruel, to give him something so perfect, so beautiful, then there's no hope. There's nothing to pull him back. And he may not believe in Pluto, never had hope for something billions of miles away, but there has to be hope in this world. There has to be.

He's never believed in fate, or destiny either, but he believes in what he feels, and what he feels for Riley is what brings him back every time. Every time his anger starts to get to be too much, that he just wants to rip, tear, punch, kick, _destroy_ , until he remembers Riley, and how disappointed in him she would be, and he never really got a chance to thank her. Thank her for all the times that she brought him back from the guy he used to be.

He wonders if she thinks of him too, if she wonders what would have happened if she'd chosen a different path, or kept her mouth shut about Maya. Maybe they'd be together, instead of thousands of miles apart.

If he could go back, and change things, he'd show up at her door the day that she left, hat in hand, and beg her to stay. Or he'd fight harder for her in Texas, force her to face the fact that they're never going to be brother and sister, not in a million different years, or a million different lifetimes. Or maybe after they broke up, he'd promise that he'd wait for her, until they were ready. A million different scenarios, a million different ways that he'd go back and change the past.

He wishes he had told her that he loved her.

Because he did love her, loves her more than anything he's supposed to feel at his age. Loving Riley feels as natural as breathing, like it's the only thing he's meant to do for the rest of his life. Loving Riley feels like putting on his coziest sweater, and watching the rain or snow fall outside, as he sips a warm cup of cocoa. It's comforting, and it feels like this is all he was born to do. Born to love Riley, beyond anything. And it should scare him, because he's only fifteen, and Riley is, was, could be, his first girlfriend, and his last girlfriend, and he had some semblance of feelings for Maya, but even then it feels like he's always coming back to Riley. It's always been Riley, he knows that now.

He and Maya are, were, like fire, eventually they would burn each other up, into something unrecognizable, something that would destroy everything in their path, until there was no turning back. He and Maya are too much alike, too angry at the world, too bitter. They both need Riley to balance them out. To have the hope for the both of them. And maybe now that he and Maya are some weird form of friends, things will go back to normal. He and Maya will probably end up being the brother and sister Riley tried so hard to be.

And even though it pains him to hurt Maya, he knows it's better for it to end now, like this, rather than down the line, when they're too far gone to turn back. This is better, even though he wishes they could have escaped this without the hurt.

His mother used to tell him stories of alternate universes, of places where he could be a prince, or a pirate, or a pauper. When he was younger, he wondered what it would be like to live in those universes, if the other versions of himself were happy. And maybe if there are other universes, other times and other places, maybe he and Riley are happy in them. And his heart aches to belong to those universes. To be in a place where he and Riley love each other so completely, so fully, so irreversibly.

He'd give up anything to live in that universe, rather than one where he and Riley are so broken that he's not sure they'll ever fall back together. Instead he waits. He waits for Riley to return, for her to love him, for that happiness that slipped right through his fingers.

He can feel the pieces of New York Lucas slipping away, bit by bit, and he doesn't care. He feels like a hollowed out shell, like the best parts of him are gone. And maybe they are. Riley was his anchor, the person who kept him grounded, and it was probably so stupid, to put that sort of role on a person, someone who might disappoint him, and has, but he couldn't help himself. Riley was supposed to always be around. And now she's gone.

And so he waits.

He waits through days, and weeks, and months. He waits until it feels like he can't wait any longer, this itch that he can't scratch. A desperate need to see her, to contact her. He waits as the seasons change, and the leaves turn brown, and fall off. He waits as the snow falls gently from the sky, and his mom presses cups of hot chocolate into his hand.

And then Riley comes back, and it feels like maybe he can stop waiting. They're talking again, slowly, and it's almost worse than the waiting for her to come back. Because it's a different form of waiting. The waiting to see if she'll say something, anything, about the two of them. And when she doesn't, he waits some more.

Days once again turn into weeks, which turn into months, and still, Riley says nothing. And it hurts to be near her, to be with her, but not together, and if he loved her less, he'd be gone by now. But he doesn't feel any less than he did a few months ago, in fact, he's sure he loves her more now than he did then. Everyday his feelings for Riley grow, until he's sure that this is the stopping point. He can't love her anymore now, than he does before.

He's wrong every time.

Loving Riley is more than just like putting on a comfortable sweater. Loving Riley is like breathing, like it's become as much a part of him as getting up in the morning, or going to bed at night. Loving Riley is all he knows, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He can't have it any other way, and if someone were to ask him ten, fifteen years from now if he loved Riley, he'd tell them yes. He would always tell them yes. Riley is his person, full stop. He wants to hold on, and never let her go, and if this is his world, then he never wants to be apart from her ever again.

He should go to her, and tell her. He should just walk up to her door, and let her know everything he's feeling. And yet, he can't make his feet move. So he waits.

He waits for the day that he can tell Riley he loves her. He waits, because Riley needs to come to him. He can't scare her off, not now. So he waits.

And he'll keep waiting. As long as it takes.

* * *

A/N: A reviewer on the Maya part wrote "Riley leaves, Maya hopes, but what about Lucas?" So, in answer to your question, Riley leaves, Maya hopes, and Lucas waits. Also, I kind of just wanted to focus on what Lucas felt, rather than any real sort of plot to move the story along, because the show has kind of been ignoring how Lucas feels about any of this, and I don't think that's very fair, so I wrote all of what I think Lucas feels, at least in this universe, and shoved it into this part. Whatcha gonna do? And, if you ever want to talk more in depth about this, or how upset I still am at Legacy, you can shoot me a message on here, or on my tumblr: .com, whatever you feel like. Seriously, I need more people to talk to about this stuff.


	7. Lying On The Edge Of A Star

A/N: Title from "Out of the Dark" by Matt Hires. Part 3 should be up soon.

* * *

He's angry, when Riley first leaves. Angry at Maya and Lucas, for making her feel like she had to leave (even though he knows, deep down inside that they're not really to blame), angry at Riley, for leaving in the first place, angry at himself, for not getting her to stay. He's just so angry, part fury that could probably burn the world down if he tried. He understands now, what Lucas felt like when he found out Riley was getting bullied, this urge to protect, to destroy.

He's a hundred pounds wet, as his gym teacher would say, and yet, he feels like The Incredible Hulk, all fury, and anger, and like there's a big green monster inside him, that he can't escape. He feels like he could topple a building, or throw a car, anything to get this feeling out of him.

He misses his best friend, his sister. The one person who is supposed to make everything okay. And he tries to talk to Isadora about it, but she doesn't understand, and it's not her fault, will never be her fault, but he just needs to someone to talk to. He can't talk to Lucas and Maya, because he's angry, and he doesn't want to say something he'll regret. And he fears talking to Riley for the same reasons. And he feels lost and broken, and so alone. And he's never felt alone, even before he really counted on the three of them as his best friends. And he knows his anger is irrational, that people can't help the way they feel, but God, his best friend is gone. Riley left, and he stayed.

He just wishes Riley would have stayed.

The anger eventually fades, as he spends hours talking on the phone to Riley, happiness creeping back into her voice, until one day he can practically feel her smiling through the phone. It's then that he admits that leaving was the best thing for her. And when he sees her for the first time after she left, standing in the living room of her grandparents' home, he almost collapses with relief, because the Riley standing in front of him is happy, and maybe not whole, but enough.

He'd been so afraid, back when he first blabbed her secret, that she'd spiral too far down, be too far gone. That the dark side she once showed would be a happy version of Riley, compared to the one who left New York, not broken, but shattered, like a star gone supernova, the kind that turn into black holes after, sucking away every part that was Riley. Instead, it seemed like she pulled all those broken and shattered pieces inwards, collapsing into a new star, smaller and dimmer, but still there, one that would eventually shine brighter than before.

Maybe it's for the best that she left. He won't ever admit that out loud, still too angry, and upset, and hurt, but it's the truth he's buried deep down inside. He's aware that if she'd stayed, she would have become the black hole he was so afraid of. Dark Riley wouldn't have been some cute little stage she was going through, but a painful reality of a girl too far gone. Too far shattered. And she would have absorbed the energy of every person around her, snuffing out their lights, one by one, without even meaning too. Now, she is just a small newborn star, the kind you won't see for awhile, too distracted by the explosion that created it in the first place. And he's knows it's not scientifically possible, or even explainable, but he's always found that newborn stars created by supernovae to be more beautiful. Beauty from the ashes, or some nonsense like that.

He tells this to Smackle, but she just shakes her head, and tells him that it's scientifically impossible, that a star is a star, before she runs her fingers through his hair, turning him into a puddle of goo.

Then Riley comes home, and Farkle wraps her up into a tight hug, and vows to never let her go again. And she's holding him equally as tight, like she never wants to leave. And if the younger Farkle could see him now, he'd think they were together, the way they hold each other close. But they're not, and Farkle realizes in that moment that he was never really in love with Riley. He was in love with the idea of Riley, of a girl with a heart so big, and so open, that she clung to hope for a planet billions of miles away. But she'll always be his best friend, his sister in everything except blood, and he's okay with that. He wouldn't want her any other way.

Riley has trouble at first, acclimating back into school. Whispers follow her like smoke, judging her for something they couldn't even begin to comprehend. People stare, and whisper, wondering how she could have left. What made her come back? Was she going to stay? They whisper that she's the reason Maya and Lucas fell apart, as if Riley didn't have her heart so thoroughly broken that he's not sure she'll ever properly heal. In the one class she has with Lucas, the whispers are particularly bad, and Farkle can feel the anger budding beneath the surface, this desperate need to protect, to destroy. He understands now, what Lucas feels with the anger coursing through his veins. And he's so close to snapping, until he gets a good look at Riley, her shoulders curved forward almost unconsciously in an effort to seem smaller, like if they don't notice her as much, maybe it'll stop.

And just like that, the anger is gone, and Farkle slips an arm around Riley, intent on protecting her from the world. He glances up and sees Lucas staring at them, an unreadable expression on his face. Farkle quirks an eyebrow at him, and Lucas seems to shake himself out of the wordless staring. He watches Lucas sneak his phone out, and type a quick text. Farkle's phone buzzes in his pocket, and he quietly pulls it out, tapping out an affirmation to Lucas' request to meet after school.

Later that day, it all gets to be too much though, and he snaps at a group of girls who are definitely not whispering, their voices carrying down the hall, and staring at the classroom Riley just slipped into. He asks them what they would do, if they had to watch their best friend be with the guy they loved. If they had their feelings broadcasted, without their consent, to the entire world (and he's not sorry that he did, just that it ended up hurting Riley worse than he intended). Or if there best friend and ex-boyfriend/crush/best friend abandoned them, all of them too wrapped up in their own problems to see what was happening right in front of them. The girls just sort of stare at him in silence, and Maya looks impressed from the door of the classroom that Riley had ducked into, and Riley, Riley just looks at him like she's never seen him before, but she whispers a thank you as he goes to her. He doesn't say anything back, just wraps her up in a tight hug, as he pets her hair, silently conveying to everyone to back off. He may be the only person in the Riley defense squad right now, but he's going to make sure that Riley feels protected. That she feels safe.

After school that day, Maya pulls him aside and thanks him, for being there for Riley, when she couldn't be. Farkle just shakes his head, and tells her that it's alright. That she can be there for her now, when Riley probably needs her the most. Maya nods her head seriously, before giving Farkle a hug, and running off to find Riley so they can walk home together.

Farkle goes to find Lucas, who is shooting hoops in the gym. Farkle isn't sure what to expect, until Lucas abruptly apologizes for his part in their falling out. Farkle accepts his apology, and the handshake that goes with it, before he mentions that Lucas should talk to Riley too. He suggests the library, since that's where they first learned to talk to each other, and Lucas smiles at the suggestion. After that, Farkle helps Lucas improve his jump shot, though he doesn't really need it, and soon, it's just like old times.

Farkle continues to watch Lucas, Riley, and Maya carefully over the next few months. He watches as Maya lets go of her feelings for Lucas, whether that's for her best friend, or her realizing that she never really liked Lucas to begin with, he'll never know. Lucas and Riley grow closer, even as they continue to deny their feelings. Part of Farkle just wants to smash their heads together, and scream at them for wasting precious time. Instead, he keeps silent, and figures that they'll work it out between the two of them. Besides, peer pressure nearly destroyed them before, and Farkle won't make that mistake again. What Riley and Lucas have is beautiful, real, true, and honest feelings that make Farkle long for Smackle, so he can feel the same thing.

Riley's star continues to grow brighter, he notices. Light out of the darkness, rebirth from the ashes. And in time, people seem to forget that there was ever a supernova. That the Riley from before was just a dream. The only Riley to ever exist is the one who is here, now. The Riley who loved two people so much, that she sacrificed everything so that they could be together, even though it never would have worked out in the end.

And maybe one day, Farkle will tell his children the stories behind the stars. Of the brave heroes who inspire the legends and constellations. Hercules, Perseus, Orion.

And of the little star whose name is Riley.

And that perhaps, that one is the most beautiful one of all.

* * *

A/N: I just really wanted some angry Farkle, and hurt Farkle, and a Farkle who was upset at everyone because his best friend left. Honestly though, I felt like I was showing Farkle to be too passive in this series, when really, he's kind of like The Incredible Hulk, on the outside he's Bruce Banner, calm, cool, collected; a scientist. On the inside though, he's like The Hulk, angry, and hurting, and a giant ball of emotions. So that's kind of where I went with this… oops.


	8. Hope Your Heart Is Strong Enough (3)

A/N: I kind of time-jumped three years, or so. Basically they're seniors in high school. I was going to show the in-between time, but that would be kind of boring, basically Riley and Lucas trying to be friends. So I time-jumped to where the action starts to happen, and added in a bunch of different points of view, besides Riley's. Also, this part is pretty dialogue heavy, because of reasons. It also kind of got away from me, in terms of length. And, sorry it's so late, but work has been keeping me pretty busy lately. Title comes from "Through The Dark" by One Direction.

* * *

It's the start of the New Year again, a time for new beginnings, or so the story goes. Riley is having another party at her house, everyone who was there five years ago gathered together for one of the last times. Riley had really gone out this year, with help from her friends. They'd strung lights all around, as well as a table with food and drinks. There were also several places to sit, either by yourself, or with your significant others, or a group of friends. Riley sat with Maya and Farkle for most of the night, until Farkle drifted off to be with Smackle as the clock ticked closer to midnight.

"Looks like it's just me and you, Riles," Maya said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"The way it should be," Riley said, holding up her pinky finger with the friendship ring on it. Maya held up her pinky in return, and they locked them together.

"Hey, guys," Lucas said, sitting next to Riley, in the spot that Farkle had abandoned earlier.

"Hey, no girl to kiss at midnight, and sweep off her feet," Maya teased.

The corners of Lucas' mouth twitched up in a half smile. "I'm not sure yet," he said, looking at Riley.

Riley blushed, as everyone around them started counting down the seconds until midnight. She was sure there was a lot of cheering going on around her, but all she could was stare at Lucas, lost in their own little world. She didn't even really register Maya getting up, and ushering everyone off the roof, until almost everyone was gone. She got up, and started gathering everything off the food table, and handing it to people who were leaving, until the table was cleared off, and just the lights were left, and she started making her way into the final group of people leaving the roof.

"Hey, Riley, can I talk to you for a second?" Lucas stopped her as everyone else left the roof.

"Sure, Lucas. What's up?" She turned back to face him, hands slipping into her jacket pockets, in what she hoped was a casual manner.

"I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to see a movie or something this weekend, just the two us of."

"Like a date," Riley asked nervously.

"Is that a problem?"

"Lucas, I-" She paused, not sure what she should say.

"Riley, we've been dancing around this for years. Aren't you tired of pretending that you don't feel something for me? It's New Years, which means a time for new beginnings, and you're the person I want next to me."

"Lucas-" She started to say something again, but stopped herself.

"You love me Riley. I know you do."

"That's not the problem, Lucas." She knew she loved him, but she wasn't sure she was ready for the rest of it. Not ready for the pressures of a relationship that had defined who she was all those years ago, only to have it slip through her fingers.

"Then what's the problem? Because as far as I'm aware, there's not a problem at all. I want to be with you, and I'm sure you want to be with me too."

"The problem is that I need to let you go." She didn't want to say it, and everything in her was screaming against it, urging her to just let go, and embrace what Lucas was offering, but at the same time, years of wondering whether Lucas had felt the same had started to wear on her, making her wonder if it was really worth it. Her head and her heart were fighting for different things, and if she wasn't careful, she'd just let go and collapse.

"What if I don't want to let you go? What if I don't want you to let me go? Riley, I love you, I don't want you to give up on this, on us."

"Maybe you don't have a choice in this! Maybe this is my decision."

"Just like I didn't have a choice when you picked Maya for me? Just like when you lied to me about your feelings, or when you left after Farkle told the truth? Because I recall all those being your choices, and look where we ended up."

"I thought I was making you both happy. I thought you and Maya would never have a real relationship if I had stayed. You both deserved a chance to have that, even if it meant that I had to leave. Not to mention, I was so broken on the inside that I needed a chance to heal, and make myself right. I had no idea it would cause the damage it did. I can't believe you're trying to use that against me now. That was nearly four years ago, and we already talked about it, and moved on. We're happy now."

"I'm not using it against you, I'm just saying you're not the only one affected by this. You can't run away from us, without giving me a reason why, not again. I want to be with you Riley, I want there to be an us, and I thought you did too."

"Lucas, we don't work. We tried, and we don't work. Please, I don't want to go through that again. Not with you. I can't lose you. Not again. I won't survive it a second time."

"Riley, we were in the eighth grade. We were young, and stupid, and peer-pressured into a relationship that neither of us were ready for. Of course we weren't going to survive."

"My parents did. They've been together since they were practically children, and they're still as in love now, as they were back then."

"But we aren't your parents. I'm Lucas, and you're Riley. We have our own love story."

"I know we're not my parents. But that's exactly why I don't want to go through with this. My parents are that once-in-a-lifetime couple that magically ended up staying together past high school. If they're that couple, then I don't have a chance with my high school sweetheart. I can't lose you Lucas. I won't."

"You won't lose me, Riley. I promise, no matter what happens, you won't lose me. At least not like I lost you." He mumbled the last part under his breath.

"What are you talking about?"

"You left, Riley! You left me, you left your friends, you left everybody behind, and for what? To come back almost a year later, and pretend like everything was going to go back to normal? That I wasn't still in love with you, like you were with me? That we could still be friends after everything? You weren't the only one who was hurting back then. You're not the only one who's hurting now."

"I came back to fix what I broke by leaving. I figured if there was ever going to be a chance for the two of us, I had to come back and fix it. And now I'm realizing that maybe there isn't ever going to be an us. Maybe I shouldn't have came back. I was fine in Philly. I was happy, and it's not that I'm not happy here, but if I'd known it was going to be this hard to be your friend, then I wish I would have stayed in Philly. Lucas, we're not the same people that met on that subway. I broke something by leaving, and I'm not sure it ever really fixed."

"You shouldn't have left in the first place, Riley. You should have stayed here, stayed with me."

"You wouldn't even look at me after New Years, Lucas, and neither would Maya. I had lost both of you, which was what I didn't want to happen. I was barely hanging on to who I was. What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to stay. You were supposed to fight for me, for us."

"I couldn't fight for you then, not when I was so broken on the inside because everything had gone pear-shaped. I needed that time away to heal. To take a step back. I had to fix myself before I could fix us. Something broke inside me when we got our yearbooks that year, and then shattered when I found out about you and Maya after Texas. If I was ever going to fight for you, I had to pick up those broken pieces off the floor, so I left. I left, and I healed."

"And now? I'm here Riley, fighting for you. I'm fighting for us, and the future we both wanted. Just, please, fight for me too. We've both done a lot of growing these past few years, both as friends, and maybe something more."

"Some love stories and relationships aren't meant to have a happy ending, Lucas. Maybe ours is one of them. And I'm not saying that being friends isn't a happy ending, because it is, but I mean the happy ending where we ride off into the sunset together."

"I refuse to believe that. Riley, you and I were always supposed to end up together, and I don't care if I have to spend a lifetime convincing you of that. You and me, we're meant to be."

"Every couple says that, Lucas. That doesn't mean that it's true."

"Then just tell me why, why I still love you after all these years. Why when we're in a room together, you're the first person I see. Why every time I think about you leaving, it's like my heart is being ripped from my chest. Just please, tell me why we're not meant to be, when everything in me is screaming for you."

"I don't know, okay? Lucas, I can't do this. Not right now. I need some time." Time to process everything. Time to run. Time to stay and fight. Just time.

"Fine. Just know that I'm here, and that I'm fighting for you, fighting for us."

Riley bit her lip, and looked towards the door, before turning back to face Lucas. "I should go. Everyone else is probably getting ready to leave, and I should say goodbye."

Lucas just nodded, and followed Riley down the steps, and back into her apartment. Everyone was in various stages of helping clean up the apartment, food being put away, and such. Riley finished helping clean up, and then said goodbye to every guest, except Farkle, Maya, and Lucas. The former two were sitting on her couch, passing a bowl of popcorn back and forth, while Lucas gathered his coat back up.

"So, I guess I'll see you at school?"

Riley just nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"Okay then. Bye guys," he waved to Maya and Farkle, who waved back, before continuing to pass the popcorn back and forth. "Bye Riley," Lucas said, before stepping out the door, as Riley shut it behind him.

"Lucas wants to get back together," Riley said, as he plopped herself down in between Farkle and Maya.

If Farkle and Maya were surprised, they didn't show it. Instead Farkle dropped the popcorn he was holding back into the bowl, and set it on the nearby end table, while Maya sat up a bit, instead of slouching down into the couch.

"And how do you feel about that?" Farkle folded his hands in his lap.

"I'm not sure." Riley frowned. She hadn't really taken the time to think about what he was saying, more focused on the implications of his words. "I told him I had to think about it."

"You're not sure, or you're too scared to even try?" Maya crossed her arms.

Riley bit her lip, and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. "What if I lose him? I don't think I could go through that again."

"Riley, you can't live your life by what happened in the past. You love Lucas, and he loves you. You guys have gone through a lot, and maybe it's time for you two to get back together," Farkle reasoned.

"What if we screw this up? We were barely able to make it through the first time staying friends. Farkle, if we break up, and I lose him, I think I'd break for good."

"Riley, you're my best friend, and I love you, but you have to stop being so scared. Sometimes, you have to take that chance, and live your life. Lucas loves you, he's been waiting for you this whole time, and now the ball's in your court," Maya countered back.

Riley sighed. "Love shouldn't be this hard."

Farkle chuckled. "If it was easy, everyone would be in love. Riley, I once asked you to teach me how to love, and here's what I've learned. Love is work. It's hard, and it's messy, but it's also the best feeling in the world. And if it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it. Riley, sometimes you have to fight for what you want. If Lucas is what you want, then nothing should stop you."

"Besides, you guys are Riley and Lucas. You've always been meant to be," Maya rubbed a hund across her back. "If you love him, Riley, like I know you do, then it's going to work out. You can't let the past determine your future, at least not when it comes to this. You guys have been head over heals in love for each other, ever since you fell into his lap on the subway."

"But what about Texas? You can't tell me that he didn't feel something for you."

"Maybe he did, and maybe he didn't." Maya shrugged her shoulders. "But there's a reason we never would have worked out, and that's you. You've always been the one he can fully be himself around. You're the person who anchors him, reminds him of who he is, not who he was. You changed him. Lucas and I, we're like fire, eventually we would have burned each other up until there was nothing left but ashes. You and Lucas are like breathing. You bring out the best parts of each other without even trying, and it took me a long time to be okay with that, but it's for the best. I realize that now."

Riley grabbed Maya's hand and held it tight. "I'm sorry you got hurt."

Maya let out a small laugh. "It's okay. I'm glad it happened when it did, rather than down the line, when we were too far gone, and there was no coming back from it. Besides, in a weird way, I think it brought Lucas and I closer together."

Riley smiled. "You became the sister I tried so hard to be."

"Which just proves that it's supposed to have been you and him, from the very beginning," Farkle supplied. "Riley, I love you, you're one of my best friends, and the sister I never had, but honestly, Maya and I can't change your mind. You're either going to get together with Lucas, or you're not. It's your choice. We can't make that decision for you."

The smile fell from Riley's face. "I know," she said quietly. "I just, I need to know that I'm making the right decision, and you two know me better than anybody else."

"Which is why we're telling you that we think you should take a chance on Lucas. Maybe you guys weren't ready all those years ago, but maybe you're ready now, and I think you're going to regret it, if you don't at least give him a fighting chance," Maya said.

"Riley?" Auggie stood in the archway of the living room in his pajamas, and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Riley snapped her head around. "Auggie? What are you doing awake?"

"Couldn't sleep," Auggie mumbled. "Why're Farkle and Maya still here?"

"We were just talking about the party."

"In fact, I think we're done talking about it, and Farkle and I should head home," Maya said, grabbing Farkle's hand. "Goodnight Riley, goodnight Auggie."

Auggie waved goodbye, as Riley gave quick hugs to both of her friends.

"What were you guys talking about?" Auggie asked, as Riley followed him back towards their bedrooms.

"Lucas told me he loved me at the party," she said, before she could stop herself.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Auggie may have been all of ten years old, but he still saw so much more than most people far older and wiser than him. Which was probably why Riley didn't mind confiding in him so much.

Riley sighed. "I thought so, but now I'm not so sure."

Auggie paused at the door of his room. "You know he's not going to give up, right? Lucas looks at you like Dad looks at Mom, like the end of the world could come, and he'd still be loving you." He stepped back into his room, and closed the door behind him, while Riley stood there, dumbfounded, before she went to her bedroom, and collapsed into bed.

* * *

She was late, and Lucas couldn't help but tap his fingers against the tabletop, as the coffee started to go cold.

"Sorry I'm late," Maya said, breathless, sliding into the booth across from him.

"It's fine. I ordered you a coffee."

"Thanks," Maya said, slipping off her jacket, and fluffing out her hair. "So, Riley told us what happened last night, after you left."

"I figured she would." Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "Did she say anything else?"

"She's just scared, Lucas. I mean, you guys went through a lot of after you broke up. Texas, Riley leaving, and then coming back, you guys rebuilding your relationship from the ground up, it's a lot on a person. She just doesn't want to lose you."

"Well, how do I let her know she's not going to lose me? I can only promise her so many times, Maya."

"I know, Lucas, trust me. And I know that this is frustrating for you, but I've known Riley for most of her life, and you didn't see her those first few weeks after she came back from Philly. She was a mess, wondering what was going to happen to you two after that whole Texas and running away debacle, and I'm not blaming you for that, because some of it also falls on my shoulders, but she was hurting, and it was bad. And she never complained about it to anyone, except maybe Farkle." She took a sip of her coffee.

"Does it bother you, that she went to Farkle, instead of you?"

She set her coffee mug back down. "Not as much as it should have. I wasn't there for her when she needed me. Farkle was. I was too wrapped up in you, and me, and how we were falling apart before we ever really started, and trying to figure out my own feelings, to be a good friend to her. Farkle was the person she could actually talk to."

"I am sorry, for hurting you. I never meant to, you know."

"Lucas, we've been over this. You don't have to be sorry anymore. You and I were always meant to be brother and sister, and that's okay. You and Riley have this awesome, epic, love story. You guys are meant for each other, and it took me awhile, but I can see that now."

Lucas let out a huff of a laugh. "Now if only Riley could see that."

"She will," Maya said, reaching forward to grab Lucas's hand that was resting on the table. "And I know you're tired of hearing this from everybody but Riley, but she loves you. She's just scared of what will happen if you decide one day that she isn't what you really want."

"And how do I show her that that's not going to happen?"

Maya retracted her hand, and took a contemplative sip of her coffee. "Her birthday," she said slowly.

"What about her birthday?"

"Well it's coming up, right?"

"Right," Lucas said, sounding unsure.

"Well, I was watching _P.S. I Love You_ the other day, and the husband sent his wife a series of letters, and he always ended it with 'p.s. I love you.' Maybe you could do something like that with Riley."

"Wasn't the husband dead in that movie?"

"Not the point," Maya dismissed, waving her hand. "Send Riley a letter, either everyday, or every few days leading up to her birthday, and end it with 'p.s. I love you.' I wouldn't sign it either. Just tape the notes to her locker or something, and then on her birthday tell her you'll meet her on her rooftop at like ten or something, and have a bouquet of flowers to give her or chocolates, you know, something romantic."

"And what are these letters supposed to say?"

"Just tell her one thing that you love about her, everyday, or reassurances that you'll be there to catch her when she falls, or some other romantic crap that she'll love. Give her a chance to see how good you guys could be, and remind her that you've both grown and matured, and changed, and are ready for that relationship."

"I don't know if that'll work," Lucas said, dubiously.

"You have to try something, Lucas."

"Okay," Lucas said, letting out a slow breath. "Okay." He'd try just about anything at this point to get Riley back.

* * *

Part one of Maya's plan was pretty simple. Lucas could think of a million different things he loved about Riley, things he's never had the guts to say. He started simple though, just a quick note to tell her that he'd been thinking about her lately, and how good he thought they'd be together, but he left off the "I love you," so he didn't immediately freak her out. With Maya's help, he taped it to the outside of her locker, and made sure to be on the other end of the school when she found it.

Maya texted him that she read the note, smiled, and then tucked it away into one of her books. Maya figured it was a success that she didn't immediately toss it away.

Lucas still felt dubious, but managed to write her another note, about how much he admired her hope for people, and taped it to her locker two days later. This time, he managed to be standing next to her when she discovered the note.

"What's that?"

"Just a note," Riley said, blushing.

"Is it from anyone I know?"

"Nope, not at all." Riley tucked the note into her book. "I should head to class."

"Okay," Lucas said. "I have to go find Maya. We're supposed to be getting together for our science project later."

"Have fun," Riley laughed. "See you after school?"

"You can count on it," Lucas answered, before going off to find Maya. "She's not telling me about the notes," he complained.

Maya rolled her eyes. "This is a good thing, you doofus. Obviously, she likes the guy who's leaving her notes, and she's not going to run and tell her ex-boyfriend/crush/whatever that she's been getting love notes from someone new. I mean, if you were getting notes from a secret admirer, and you liked the notes, would you tell Riley immediately?"

"Probably not," Lucas conceded.

"Exactly. Trust me, everything's going according to plan."

"If you're sure," Lucas said uncertainly.

"Positive." Maya closed her locker. "Now come on, Huckleberry, we have to get to class." She slung her arm through his, and pulled him off to class.

* * *

"Riley, is everything okay? You've been kind of quiet lately." Farkle slid onto the bench next to her at Topanga's.

"Someone's been leaving notes on my locker," Riley murmured.

"Riley, if this is that bully again, you should have told me-"

"It's not that," Riley interrupted him.

"Then what is it?" Farkle slung an arm over her shoulders.

Riley handed him the notes that she'd been holding in her lap. "They're love notes."

Farkle took the notes and opened them. "Are they from Lucas? Why would you keep these a secret? Riley, the guy is writing you love notes!"

Riley looked down, twisting her hands in her lap.

Farkle looked at the notes more closely, realizing that they weren't signed. "Lucas didn't send these, did he?"

Riley shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

Farkle sighed, and threw an arm around Riley's shoulders. "Did you want them to be from him?"

Riley shrugged. "Part of me did, and the other part of me isn't so sure. I mean, the guy in these letters, he's everything I ever wanted, but Lucas is Lucas, and he's the one guy that I keep coming back to, no matter what."

"Hey guys," Maya interrupted them, flopping down onto one of their chairs. "What's up?"

"Riley has a secret admirer," Farkle blurted out.

"Farkle-" Riley could feel the blush starting on her cheeks.

"Oh really? Has he been leaving notes for our dear little Riley?" Maya asked, taking the notes out of Farkle's hand. She scanned through them before handing them back to Riley. "Sounds like this guy really likes you, Riley."

Riley thumped her head against the back of her chair. "That's what I was afraid of."

"What do you mean?" Maya folded her arms across her chest.

"She's conflicted," Farkle supplied, when Riley stayed quiet," due to the whole Lucas thing."

Maya uncrossed her arms, and leaned forward. "Riley, I never thought I'd say this, but maybe you should give this guy a chance, it could be good for you."

"Maya, he just started leaving me notes. He hasn't even talked about meeting me face to face yet."

"But he will," Maya encouraged. "And when he does, I think you should meet him."

"I'll think about it," Riley said, resigned. "I can't make any promises."

"That's all I'm asking," Maya soothed. "Now, can you help me with my homework?"

"Sure," Riley said, rolling her eyes, before she smiled fondly, and pulled Maya's books closer. She'd put all this secret admirer business out of her head for now.

* * *

 _Riley, I know that this probably all seems rather sudden to you, but I was wondering if maybe you'd like to meet sometime. I mean, I heard that it's your birthday in a week, and that you're having a party for it on Saturday. If it's not too forward of me, I'd like to ask you to meet me on your rooftop at eight o'clock that night. I'll have a dozen roses for you. Do you think that you would like to meet me?_

Riley read the note several times, before she took a deep breath, grabbed her pencil, and wrote something on the bottom, before she taped it back to her locker. Lucas waited until she rounded the corner, before he approached her locker, and carefully took the note off it. He held his breath as he slowly opened it, and tried not to fistpump as he read the deliberate "yes" on the bottom of the note.

"Whatcha got there?" Maya popped over his shoulder, slinging an arm across them.

"Riley agreed to meet with me, for her birthday. Well, at least she agreed to meet with her secret admirer. She still doesn't know it's me." Lucas let out a breath. "I can't believe it."

Maya ruffled his hair. "I told you. Now, we should go pick out an outfit so that you can get your girl."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Lucas pulled at his shirt.

Maya rolled her eyes, and tucked her arm through his. "Look, Huckleberry, the right outfit can increase your chances by like, thirty percent. So, we're going to go change your outfit."

Lucas sighed, and allowed himself to be led by Maya. "I'm trusting you on this, you know."

Maya smirked. "I know."

"Okay, because I can't afford to screw this up again, not with her."

Maya let out a soft chuckle. "Lucas, we all know that you and Riley are going to end up together. Trust me, there's no way you could mess this up."

"I hope so," Lucas muttered, as Maya led the way out of the school doors.

"I know so." Maya shot back, grinning. "You two are like those epic love stories you used to hear about when you were growing up? About soulmates who used to find each other against all odds, even when the situation seemed hopeless? I believe in those love stories, more than I ever thought I would. I believe in you guys, and maybe it's crazy, or Riley's hope is starting to rub off on me, but god, Lucas, if you two aren't fated to end up together, than what choice do the rest of us have?"

Lucas stopped to stare at her, pulling his arm from her grip. "Do you really believe that?"

Maya patted his arm, and looped it back through hers. "Lucas, I've believed that ever since Riley fell onto your lap in the subway. I even believed it when Riley threw me at you in Texas, and she was denying any and all feelings towards you. I believed in you guys even when it seemed like all hope was lost, and I was trying so hard to mash it down, because you were mine. You guys may not be like Riley's parents, but you have your own love story, that deserves a happy ending where the guy gets the girl, and you ride off happily into the sunset."

"Have I told you lately that I'm glad you're my best friend?"

Maya laughed. "Probably, but I guess it bears repeating every now and again."

"You're my best friend," Lucas said, grinning.

"And you're mine too, Huckleberry. Now, let's go get you your lady."

* * *

"Happy birthday, Riley!" Maya thrust a present into her best friend's hands.

"Thanks, Maya," Riley grinned, kissing her cheek. "Farkle and Smackle are collecting presents on the kitchen table, if you want to set yours over there with them."

"Is Lucas here yet? Maya asked, taking back the present and making her way over to the table.

"Yeah, he got here a bit ago, but then he disappeared."

"Okay, just wondering," Maya shrugged her shoulders. "Have you told him about the other person?"

"Not yet. I was going to tonight, but I can't seem to find him."

"How about we split up and look for him?" Maya set her present down on the table.

"Sounds good," Riley said, taking off for the back of the house. Maya mingled through the party, greeting different friends as she searched for Lucas.

"Have you seen Lucas? I need to talk to him about something," Riley asked Farkle, as she reentered the room, not finding him.

"I haven't seen him in awhile," Farkle shrugged his shoulders. "What do you need to talk to him about?"

Riley looked down, and started twisting her hands together. "I figured it was time I told him about the guy that was sending me the notes, just so he doesn't find out from someone else. It's only fair, right?"

"Speaking of," Maya interjected, as she swung an arm across Riley's shoulders, "you should go meet that guy on the roof. Wouldn't want to keep him waiting."

"But, Lucas-"

"We'll find a way to keep him busy, if he comes back." Maya started pushing Riley towards the door, impatient.

Riley sighed. "Okay, I"m going." She left her apartment, the sounds of the party fading as the door closed. The hallway was quiet, and she climbed the stairs to the roof. Luckily, it was a rather warm spring night, as she climbed up onto the roof. She couldn't help but let out a small gasp, as the whole roof was still decked out in string lights, and there was a trail of rose petals leading from the door, to someone standing at the edge of the roof. The figure turned around, and Riley tried to stop the gasp that squeaked out as Lucas stepped forward, holding a dozen roses.

"Hey, Riley."

"Lucas, what-"

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you it was me," Lucas interjected. "But, I didn't think you would listen if you knew the notes were from me. So, I sent them to you, hoping that you'd understand when I finally told you. Please don't be mad."

"So, there is no secret admirer," Riley said, slowly, still trying to process everything.

"Just me. Someone who's loved you for a long time."

"Lucas, I…" She trailed off, not sure what she wanted to say.

"I love you, Riley. That isn't going away any time soon."

Riley looked away, and bit her bottom lip, tears pooling in her eyes. "Lucas, we talked about this. You and I, we don't get a happy ending, at least not together."

"And I told you, I refuse to believe that. Riley, there could be multiple universes out there, some in which we're together, and some where we're not. All I know is that my heart is wherever we're together, because it's supposed to be us. You're it for me. You always have been."

Riley turned to face him again, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Lucas, I can't get hurt again. I won't get hurt again."

"I promised you that I wouldn't hurt you. Riley, sometimes you just have to trust that I'll be there to catch you when you fall."

"I do trust you," Riley whispered, as she reached out to grab his hand. "Please never doubt that I trust you."

"You have a funny way of showing it," Lucas teased gently.

The corners of Riley's lips twitched up in a brief approximation of a smile, before falling back down again. "Lucas, we don't work."

"You liked the guy who wrote you those notes. I mean, you were willing to meet a total stranger on a rooftop, because you wanted to have some kind of a relationship with him. I'm that guy, Riley. How is it any different knowing it's me?"

"I don't know." Riley bit her lip, and pulled her hand away.

"Riley, you had hope for Pluto, which is billions of miles away. You're telling me you don't have hope for something that's right in front of you?"

"I have hope," Riley said quietly. "I have had hope from the time I fell into your lap on the subway. I had hope when I gave you up in Texas. I had hope even when I ran away to Philedelphia. I had hope when I came back almost a year later, to our group that was shattered and broken. I have had hope even when everything in me was screaming that I shouldn't. Lucas, I have loved you, and hoped and wished for you what feels like my whole life."

"Then please, just be with me. Riley, I've never once changed my mind about you, about us. You are my constant. When everything inside me was spinning and churning, and I felt lost and alone, you are the thing that brought me back, every time. Riley, I don't want to go through life without you, not if I don't have to."

Riley looked away again, biting her lip, before she reached some decision in her head. She stepped in front of him, gazing up at him, as she slid her arms around his shoulders, thredding her fingers into his hair.

Lucas held his breath, hardly daring to hope, as Riley leaned in closer, balancing on her tiptoes, and slowly, ever so slowly, pressed her lips to his.

It was like fireworks exploding, as both their eyes slid shut, and they pressed in closer together, and Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. Everything about the moment felt so right, and so good, it was a wonder they hadn't done this a million times before.

When they finally pulled apart, Lucas loosened his hold slowly, so her feet slid back to the floor gracefully.

"I love you," Riley whispered.

Hope, and love, and faith, and affection swelled in Lucas' heart, and what felt like the depths of his soul. "I love you," he whispered back, pressing a kiss to her forehead. His hand slipped under her chin, tilting her face towards him. "I have always loved you." He pressed a kiss to her left cheek. "I will always love you." He pressed a kiss to her right cheek. "You are the one person that I never want to live without." He pressed a final kiss to the tip of her nose.

"I never want to live without you either," Riley whispered.

"We should get back to the party," Lucas said, glancing at the door, and then back at the girl in his arms. "But maybe in a bit." He kissed her again.

"I love you," Riley said again, just because she could.

"I love you too." Lucas felt like his whole body had relaxed, like he could go anywhere, and do anything, as long as Riley was by his side.

All those years ago, back when everything seemed so hopeless, and they were so far broken that it seemed like they would never heal, Riley wishes she could have told herself to have more hope. Everything would turn out the way she dreamed of. Because under the twinkle lights of her rooftop, enclosed in Lucas' arms, there is no place else she would rather be.

And this was what it must feel like, to be on the other side. She thought she knew, when she and Lucas had clawed their way back to friendship. She thought she knew when she first got back to New York, after almost a year spent in Philly, but she was wrong. This was the other side of heartbreak. This was the otherside of everything she had gone through. And she had made it.

* * *

A/N: So. That was the last part. I mean, Riley and Lucas got their happy ending, there's not much more that I can do? I'd like to thank every single person who reviewed, and asked me to keep writing. I couldn't have done it without you guys. You are what kept this fic going, and what made it so special. Riley and Lucas are like my small children, and I love them so much. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

xoxo,

Ashleigh


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